The Joys of Summer!

It has been a good summer so far! I've travelled and relaxed, worked and made new friends. I'll try to make this recap both quick and enjoyable (as well as informative).

Mexico Cruise 2009

Me and 2 friends from work (Jesse and Paul) went on a cruise at the end of June. We left after work on Wednesday, drove through the night to San Diego, and parked to sleep for a couple hours and to wait for the sun to come up. We started out at some beach that was kinda nice but not really a good one as far as fluffy sand goes. So then I became the designated driver and began going south. We stopped off at the San Diego temple before finding a beach to chill out on. The only problem was that Jesse and Paul decided to go to sleep in the car and let me find the beach on my own. Me. The guy who'd never even been to California before, let alone San Diego. NEVERTHELESS, I found Pacific/Mission Beaches for us. Yes, I did. Paul and Jesse were still sleeping so I took a walk along the beach for a while by myself and it was really nice. It was cloudy but thats ok.

We spent a few hours at the beach playing in the sand and looking around the shops before going to the cruise ship. Your cruise starts right when you get on the ship, so we got on about 4 or 5 hours before we actually left port. We dropped off our luggage (they take it to your room for you) and went up and started pigging out. You can have as much as you want to eat, 24 hours/day! Free room service, plus the pizzeria is open 24 hours a day, plus theres a couple buffets always going on, plus the meals that are actually served to you in the dining rooms!

Theres also shows, swimming, laying out, sleeping, etc. And the service on the ship is great. We spent one day in Ensenada, Mexico. We purchased an excursion to go to a beachside resort in nearby Rosarito and it was well worth it. We basically chilled on the white-sand beach eating cheap authentic Mexican food in our speedos. Oh yes, the Speedos. We all decided to be a bit crazy and get speedos for our trip-- so we had lots of fun with them! Tee hee. Mine had a Mexican flag on it! It was very popular with locals and tourists alike. Below are a couple samples.

It was a fantastic trip and we ended up with this great view of San Diego harbour as we came in:

Cabin Trips!

I've been lucky enough to go to my mom's family's cabin several times this summer. Its in Christmas Meadows in the middle of the Uintah mountains. I LOVE it there!!! Here are a few picture highlights:

And one video of my best friend Paul dressed up and silly:

Harry Potter Premiere

So a bunch of us from work decided to go to the midnight showing of the new Harry Potter movie, but instead of dressing as Harry Potter characters, we dressed as anything BUT. I decided to wear the kilt I bought in Scotland. I know its kinda like Harry Potter, but I figured I won't have too much chance to wear it so wear it I did.

SO, it has been a pretty good summer so far! Theres still plenty of excitement in store: a trip back home and who knows what else!

From 18-year-old Dave

Dear Future me, 5/26/05

Whats up? Hopefully your mission and school went well, really well. Don't get married yet! Wait a couple more years. As I've said so many times before, I think I'll major in International Relations and get an International law degree after that before becoming a Foreign Service Officer. How are those plans?

This is my last day of high school. EVER. It is frightening, but exciting, but more unusual and frightening. I don't really know how to explain without using cliches. It doesn't feel like the end. It feels as if I'll still come to school tomorrow. I suppose that is how it feels every year, but this year is so different. Well a lot of things happened this last year--I got turned loose in Finland and got to examine my beliefs; All-State for the 2nd year, first make-out and french kisses; tough time working with Ahmet; messing up with Sarah and dating Suzanne. Better (best) friends with Amanda and better with others like Nic and Joslyn and kayla. Had an awesome time in Figments and South Pacific--sang 2 solos. I'm the senior speaker at commencement--so soon!!! (3 days) Oh and lots of trouble with Mom and Dad over scholarships, money, Ahmet and the fact that they are old and its hard for them to understand me.

I don't know that I'm ready to move on--I guess I'll have to be. Its just part of growing up. Man I'll miss this place and these people.

Sorry my writing is so bad--I cut my right index finger on a weed last night so it hurts to write with it.

I guess that overall I'm pretty scared for this "graduation" (oh, no wonder its called graduation!), but almost just as excited.

We'll see what happens--do something great!

--David Patterson Hansen

QUALTRICS POLL!!!

Reflections (corny, i know)

I'm from Iowa so I can say anything corny, right? Thats what I figure anyway.

My new favourite quote is this: "The only life worth living is one you're passionate about." Its from a new tv show called "Glee."

When I was on my trip, it was amazing to get out of the "bubble" that is Utah County/Provo/BYU. To be treated as regular person, without any assumptions about me or my character, was amazing and SO refreshing. When I met people, I was Dave Hansen. Not Dave Hansen the Mormon. Not Dave Hansen the RM. Most random people that I met were just people in shops or whatever--but the experience was naturally quite different from my mission, as I wasn't wearing a white shirt, tie, and nametag. Even people who knew that I had been a missionary there didn't really let that affect their perception of me. I was/am who I am and that's all. It was no big deal--I was accepted for whoever I was.

In Provo (or maybe the church in general) I feel so much pressure to live up to what I've done. I'm an RM. I had a successful mission. I was Ward Clerk in my last ward. I go to BYU. Blah, blah blah. When I was on my trip, all those pressures were gone. It was a feeling of liberation.

However, on the drive home from the airport, I felt all those pressures fall back on me as I looked at my surroundings as we drove down the freeway. Don't get me wrong--certain societal pressures are good. I'm not an anarchist or anything. But to go back to my quote at the beginning, I have come to realise that "The only life worth living is one you're passionate about." I've decided, quietly and subtly, that this is what I need to live by. How can I live by others' expectations? I can't be that happy doing that.

As a semi-related side note, I've come the the realisation that I am a HUGE people-pleaser. Often times when I'm trying to make a decision, most of what I think about is who it will affect and how. This is of course important to a point--I'm not out to hurt people and I shouldn't be, either--but I need to make decisions based on what is best for me, and what will make me happy. This won't be easy now, but I think in the long run it will help me to be much happier.

I hope this isn't all coming off as selfish banter. However, I do believe that I need to sort myself out a bit in order to be a better person, and thus to be able to be of any help to others.

That is all, for now.

Angland, Pictland, and Eire

Well, I didn't end up seeing Regent's Park, but I did see Kensington Palace and the surrounding parkland, which was really nice and included a Peter Pan statue. I met Rash at the palace and we had a nice Italian lunch in Kensington before going back to his flat, grabbing my stuff, and heading to London Paddington train station. I rode the train through the countryside, including through Swindon (the first area of my mission) and some of what I think is the most beautiful countryside in the UK. I got off the train in good old Gloucester, where Phil Moreton, the branch mission leader from the Forest of Dean, picked me up. That first night I went straight to the Lawsons (the Branch President) and had dinner. The food there is ALWAYS good and the company even better. Needless to say it was a fun night and I was so happy to be there.

The next day I went with Phil and had an extremely lovely walk down, over, and up the River Wye. This was more spectacular scenery AND weather! Haha, everyone thinks it only rains in England, but I really had great weather for the greater part of my trip :-) Anywho after we finished our walk, we took the rope ferry across the Wye and back to the car park. After that we spent some more time enjoying the scenery from Symonds Yat Rock, a cliff above the River Wye, then drove south along the river to Tintern Abbey (which was just in Wales!). Its kind of a forlorn place, being a ruin and all, but beautiful at the same time.

We then went back to the Forest to have dinner with the Pattenden family. Sister Pattenden was the RS Pres while I was in the Forest so it was really great to see that whole family again. Dinner was lots of fun. After that, we went back to the Moretons and pretty much chilled for the rest of the evening, which was nice.

The next day was rainy but not too bad. Phil and I ended up going to Monmouth and having a look around, which was nice as it is a really pretty town on the river. We then went back to the house, had lunch, and all drove to Gloucester, where the Moretons dropped me off at the train station. From there I rode the train straight to Nottingham!!

I was picked up by the Wilshers in Nottingham, and I stayed with them for my time there. They are fantastic people (and Sis. Wilsher is a GREAT cook!) so I really loved my stay. Of course it helped that I love Nottingham as well. I got to see lots of the people I grew to love there and that was fantastic. I also got to see Hardwick Hall, which I had read about whilst on my mission but had been unable to see because it was out of the mission boundaries. I also went on a (rather large) shopping spree with my friend Lisa, and that was lots of fun, kind of expensive, and our lunch afterwards at Red Hot was delicious.

During my time in N'ham, I took a day (well, afternoon/evening) trip to Burton-on-Trent, one of my old areas. It was great! I got to see the famous Kinnard family, and go to dinner with the Watson family. I really loved it. I also got to go to the Notts 2 Ward for church on Sunday, and that was as fun as it always was. I went to Gospel Principles and that brought back some great memories, like the time Marie was there and she started spraying her armpits with deodorant during the lesson, right in front of everyone.

On Tuesday, May 5, Lisa and I set off for the North! We missed our train (my fault) but soon got another one, and got to York just after 11am. We set off and soon explored the city walls, which are really cool and surprisingly complete, then got some nice chips at the Codfather, explored the town a bit including a church with wonky floors and walls, before heading to the Minster (like a cathedral). It had gorgeous stained glass, which was the thing I was most interested in, along with the stonework. Lisa and I took the arduous trip up the tower and across the roof and up the tower to the top and it was great! Nice views, although rather windy. About 5:30 pm, we went back to the train station and got on a train to Durham, which is north of York. Once we got there, Lisa's brother-in-law and niece were waiting for us and drove us back to their house in a village outside Durham. We had an EXCELLENT dinner there and I really loved being with them. Lisa has a great family. That night, and the next 2 nights, we stayed at Lisa's mum's bungalow, and it was really nice.

On Wednesday we rode the bus into Durham and spent the day there. It is a beautiful town on the river with both a cathedral and a castle. The castle is now Durham University so we pretty much just saw the outside, but we went inside the cathedral and climbed the tower there too! Lisa was super scared of heights but it was a lot of fun. We also got some delicious ice cream! Yumm. Oh I also REALLY like the northern England accent (well, the Durham one at least). They say "aye" instead of "yes," which I think is awesome.

On Thursday we woke up early, rode the bus into Durham, then took the train to Edinburgh, Scotland. We spent the day (and a fair amount of money) there, and it was lots of fun, though rather windy. We saw the town and the castle, and that was most of the day. I got a kilt for 20 quid and that was a great purchase. I also got some other fun stuff, including pinstripe shoes!!! They are pretty radical but I like them.

Friday we got a ride into Durham, ate at the Chinese buffet, and then took the train back to Nottingham. We met the Wilshers there; they brought some luggage I had left at their house and also took Lisa home. I had about 10 minutes to catch my next train to Wolverhampton but I made it. I was picked up in Wolverhampton by John Chaproniere, the ward mission leader in the ward I served in there. He and his family are excellent people and I enjoyed a relaxing night there.

The next day I left with a carry-on and rode the train to Birmingham Int'l Airport. I flew RyanAir from there to Derry, N. Ireland. It was a very no-frills flight (which was fine, considering I only spent 20GBP on the fare) and the landing was the roughest I've ever had. I was picked up by Bryan Graydon, my first companion in Nottingham. I spent 4 wonderful days there relaxing and enjoying the beauties of the Emerald Isle. I was lucky enough to have the sun visit all 4 days I was there, allowing for beautiful weather. I spent a lot of time with Bryan's mom, and she is a lot of fun. I saw one of the most beautiful beaches in the world....or actually the whole coastline....walked a rope bridge, saw the Giant's Causeway, and enjoyed the Irish accent. Ahh....good times.

On Tuesday the 12th I left Derry to go back to Wolverhampton. My train passed thru B'ham city centre so I got out and did a little shopping. I couldn't pass thru B'ham without a little visit!! I love that city. That night I was back at the Chapronieres and the Mitchells (from Wednesfield) came by to visit and it was a lot of fun. That night I packed and stayed up late, anxious with anticipation for my flight home.

Wednesday morning I woke up early and caught a train from Wolverhampton straight to London. I called a couple missionaries on the way and it was fun to talk to them.

Once my train got to London, I had to take the Underground to Heathrow airport, and that was NOT fun. I had to go down lots and lots of stairs, with 2 rolling suitcases, a side bag, and a giant duffel bag. The duffel bag strap broke when I got off of the tube at one station, which made things even more difficult. However, I eventually made it to the airport. The rest of my trip home was pretty uneventful. It was nice to be back on American soil; however I really think I could live in the UK and be very happy. The only bad thing was that when I arrived in SLC, my baggage wasnt there--it had been put on the flight after mine. They delivered it to me, but not until 3 or 4 in the morning. Oh well. My friend Miguel was nice enough to come and pick me up from the airport. I wasn't in the best of moods, having not slept for 24 hours and having my luggage lost.

Thus was the end of my UK adventure--the best trip I've ever had.

Almost Lover

So I know I'm always posting lyrics, but I love, love, love this song by Fine Frenzy called "Almost Lover." Here are the song, music video, and lyrics:

Your fingertips across my skin

The palm trees swaying in the wind

Images

You sang me Spanish lullabies

The sweetest sadness in your eyes

Clever trick

Well, I never want to see you unhappy

I thought you'd want the same for me

[Chorus]

Goodbye, my almost lover

Goodbye, my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

Should've known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street

You took my hand and danced with me

Images

And when you left, you kissed my lips

You told me you would never, never forget

These images

No

Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy

I thought you'd want the same for me

[Chorus]

Goodbye, my almost lover

Goodbye, my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

Should've known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean

I cannot drive the streets at night

I cannot wake up in the morning

Without you on my mind

So you're gone and I'm haunted

And I bet you are just fine

Did I make it that

Easy to walk right in and out

Of my life?

[Chorus]

Goodbye, my almost lover

Goodbye, my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

Should have known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

Videos from the Trip!

Ok, below are a few videos from my trip!  Also, here are the links to view my picture albums on facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2260923&id=17809597&l=6a31f29d4b

 http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2260914&id=17809597&l=e4747b8262

 http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2258149&id=17809597&l=1567b2ba72

Pictures from my UK trip so far!!!

The Lawson family, who live in the middle of nowhere in a 500 year old farmhouse. Dinner was delicious and they are great!

View from the famous Symonds Yat Rock. Spectacular!!
Thanks to Brother Moreton for the chauffering!



Tintern Abbey, Wye Valley. Very ominous.

in front of Kensington Palace

in front of Buckingham Palace (after having tea with Her Majesty)

this girl gave me a free hug in Hyde Park.

this is NOT London Bridge. It is Tower Bridge.

D-dawg and Wur-dawg in London Ends

I'm in London!!!  However, I'm leaving today.  Let me recap on my trip! And the last few days.

End of semester: very stressful.  I stayed up past 4am Monday last studying for my Physical Science final.  Which I did alright on--relatively.  I spent 2 hours taking the test and only stopped because I really had to go to the bathroom.  I got a 74%, which is better than any of my other test scores in that class.  I should end up with at least a B-, and hopefully a B.  My other final last week was Humanities 101, and I don't think it was too bad.  We were allotted 3 hours to complete it, and I only took 50 minutes.  Hopefully thats a good thing!

My parents were in town last week.  They stayed in Park City and so I went up there and stayed over night on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday nights which was a lot of fun.  On Monday night Paul was there so that made it extra fun.  We went swimming mostly, but after my parents went to bed we decided we were still hungry so we "snuck out" and found a Burger King.  Good times.

Wednesday and Thursday were super busy just getting ready for my trip and packing to move out of Southridge.  I definitely have too much stuff and need to get rid of a lot of it.  Hopefully I can do that when I move into my new apartment.  It was sad to be leaving Southridge and the people/ward there that I have come to love, but it will be good to start fresh in a much nicer apartment.  Thursday night I checked out and went to Deborah Bailey's wedding reception, which was fun, then me and Miguel went up to the hotel in Park City and went swimming and ate some food.  It was a lot of fun and I'm glad that we could do that before I left.

Now....the LONDON part!!!

I stayed up til like 12 or 1 that night making sure I was ready.  Then I woke up at 4am!!  Got ready, ate breakfast, left around 5 for the airport.  My mom drove me and it reminded me of when I went to Finland and she and my dad drove me to the airport in Cedar Rapids.  Anyway there were no problems at the airport (my bag was 20 lbs underweight).  On the flight to San Fransisco we flew over the Golden Gate bridge and the downtown which was cool.  The couple I sat next to were really nice and I ended up talking to them for like 1.5 hours after the flight.  They really like England so they were pretty interested in my trip.

The flight from San Fran to London was long (I mean, was flying across the whole of the United States, plus the Atlantic), but good.  I read, slept, ate (I love airplane food btw) and watched a movie or 2.  The guy on my right was from Brazil but had lived in France and other places and is now an American citizen and is marrying a girl from Utah next month.  The woman on my left is a professor of psychology at a university in Chico, CA. They were both fun to talk to, although we didn't really talk at all until the last 1.5 hours of the flight.

We landed ONE HOUR EARLY in London.  Can you believe that???  I was really nervous that I'd have to wait forever at the airport for my old companion to come pick me up but it wasn't too bad.  Once I got thru customs and baggage claim and all that it was like 7am which is when the plane was SUPPOSED to land.  Rash (Elder Wurie's nickname) didn't get there for a bit but he got there and thats the important thing.

First we rode the underground back to Rash's flat, which is in Kilburn (an area of London).  He lives with a few other guys who are also going to University and who are LDS.  Its a cool flat.  Kinda reminds me of missionary days :-).  I waited a while for him to get ready and I fell asleep, despite my best efforts not to.  Once he was ready the first thing we did was head to Camden to go to the market.  It was GREAT!!  There were a million people there but there was cool stuff being sold and the atmosphere was great.  I got a giant crepe which tasted good and I also got souvenirs, sunglasses, and a telescope/looking glass thing that is brass and leather and came in a cool wooden box.  The guy who sold it to me was a jerk but oh well.

After Camden, we went to London City Centre.  The first thing we saw was London Bridge, which is actually pretty funny since the original London Bridge was sold to some guy in Arizona and the current one is made of pretty ugly concrete.  We then walked around the Tower of London to Tower Bridge, the bridge that is often mistaken as London Bridge.  There were tourists everywhere but it was still a lot of fun.  We walked across Tower Bridge and along the bank of the River Thames for a while before coming to Shakespeare's Globe Theatre.  Its pretty small and I would've liked to have seen a play there (its only £5!) but they were all sold out.  We then crossed a foot bridge and St. Paul's cathedral was right in front  of us.  It is pretty massive.  Then we rode the underground to go to a couple birthday parties, but things didn't work out so we actually ended up just going back to the flat--our feet were dang tired from all that walking  all round London.  On the way back we stopped at Mr. Fish so I could get some chips!!!!   mmm they were good.  That was my dinner that night.  We were super tired so when we got back we went to bed around 9pm!

The next day (Sunday) we woke up at like 10am (13 hours of sleep!!).  We leisurely got ready for church and left around 12:30.  Rash goes to the Britannia ward, the only YSA ward in the UK.  He had to be early for some meetings so I took a gander down to Hyde Park before church started.  It was a BEAUTIFUL day (as was Saturday!) and it was a lovely gander.  I saw the memorial fountain/pool for Princess Diana and the park is really pretty.  I tried to get to Speaker's Corner but the park is so huge I didn't have time.  Church was good and it was a pretty normal single's ward.  Afterwards there was some socialising and it was a good time.  Rash wanted to stay for a service fireside so I left with 2 of his roommates, Rob and Angus, and we went to Speaker's corner back in Hyde Park.  IT WAS CRAZY!!  People everywhere, speaking their minds.  There were definitely some crazies.  I also got a free hug from a pretty girl, which was nice ;-)

After that we walked past the Marble Arch and down Oxford Street, which is the main shopping district of London.  It was  pretty cool.  Then we caught a bus (yes, double-decker) to Abbey Road!  Haha it was pretty funny trying to get pictures on the crossing but I got a couple.  They are kind of grainy cuz it was getting dark but its all good.  After that we went home!

Yesterday I got to wander around London on my own which I was nervous about but it turned out to be lots of fun.  I'm really enjoying this vacation because my plans are so loose; when I plan things too precisely I can get really uptight and stressed if the plans don't work out.  So yesterday I started off in Kilburn High Street, getting a battery and charger for my phone, as well as getting a delicious muffin from Greggs.  Then I caught a bus back to Oxford St where I did some souvenir/clothes shopping.  Clothes are really cheap here!!!!  Souvenirs weren't too expensive, either.  After Oxford St. I headed over to the British Museum.  It is massive and free!!  I got to see the Rosetta Stone and the Parthenon marbles.  That was great, especially since I had had to stare at the Parthenon marbles the last few weeks during my Humanities class.  After zooming through the museum, I caught a bus to Green park, which is beautiful of course, and walked through there to get to Buckingham Palace.  I guess the Queen was home, because there were no tours available, but it was a SIGHT.  It was really beautiful.

I then headed towards the houses of Parliament and Westminster Abbey, but stopped at a great little sandwich shop along the way.  I was debating whether I wanted to spend the £9 it costs a student to get into the Abbey, but I decided to do it and it really was beautiful!!!  There are monuments everywhere, but my favourite part was King Henry VIII's Lady Chapel.  Its where an order of knights have their crests and there are some fantastic stained glass and the ceiling is carved stone and amazingly intricate.  I'll post pictures when I can.

After the Abbey, I walked around the Houses of Parliament.  This building is also very intricate and beautiful.  It is right on the river Thames and I loved it.  I probably took a million pictures. (Btw this includes "Big Ben.").  After that I walked up Whitehall and saw Downing Street.  There is a massive gate and police officers so you can't actually go down the street, but I saw it nonetheless.  I kept walking up the street until I got to Trafalgar Square.  Here there is the pillar/statue of Lord Nelson, as well as Martin's in the Fields church and the National Portrait Gallery.  They're all pretty and cool.  A great thing about London is that the museums are all free!! yay!!!  I then got some McDonald's and ate it in Leicester Square, which is a really pretty pedestrianized green space.

By this time I needed to get back to the flat to meet Rash, so I caught a bus to Picadilly Circus, took a picture, and then rode the tube home.  I was pretty impressed with myself that I could do that all on my own!  I will also be impressed if you have read this whole post.  In fact you might deserve some English chocolate.

Today I'm going with Rash to Kensington Palace and Regents Park. Then its off to...the Royal Forest of Dean!!

Trust

Have you ever done a "trust fall"?  Its where you close your eyes and just fall backward and a friend catches you.  Its supposed to build trust between people, just hoping that they actually catch you.  I have to admit that one time I didn't catch this girl and it was kind of embarrassing.  She happened to be my girlfriend.  But I'm not sure if she was my girlfriend at that point.  Random.

I've been thinking about trust today.  Its really hard for me to really, truly trust someone.  Its easy enough in the physical sense, like with the trust fall, but its much harder in the emotional sense.  See, I suppose I have about 3 different levels of trust:

Level 1: Acquaintance

At this level if you ask me how I'm doing, I will most likely say "fine" regardless of how I really feel.  If you ask me about personal things like who I'm dating, I might give you some vague information, like maybe some first names or how I'm feeling in general about dating.  But that's probably more level 1a stuff.

Level 2: Friend

At this level we've probably hung out at least a few times and I definitely call you my friend, rather than just someone I know from .... .  I'm more likely to tell you how I'm really doing--that or you'll just be able to tell that I'm not really "fine" and  you'll probably ask me how I'm really feeling.  If you asked me about my dating life, I would probably give a fair amount of detail, and be less general about feelings.

Level 2a: Good Friend

Either I live with you, have known you a long time, or see a lot of you.  We're definitely more than Facebook friends, and you are more of a confidante who I can approach and talk about things with, rather than just answer your small talk questions that you post on my Wall.  I go to you for advice and help, and have a fair amount of trust in you, but not enough to tell you everything about myself, my life, or my situation.

Level 3: Soul Mate

This person I have not yet met.  And by soul mate I don't necessarily mean an eternal companion--just someone I can bare my whole soul to without worrying what they'll think or say.  Someone who, no matter how stupid I am and regardless of the stupid things I do, will still love me for me and be my friend.  This is someone I really feel I can lean on in hard times, and who will depend on me when they are in hard times too.

I guess the point of this post is the fact that I've never trusted anyone up to Level 3.  I may tell people personal things or whatever, but there is no one that I share my whole self--my soul--with.  I guess thats what part of marriage is, but don't people have friends like this before marriage too?  Sometimes I just yearn to tell someone these things deep inside of me; I yearn to be understood.  Hmm.