I'm from Iowa so I can say anything corny, right? Thats what I figure anyway.
My new favourite quote is this: "The only life worth living is one you're passionate about." Its from a new tv show called "Glee."
When I was on my trip, it was amazing to get out of the "bubble" that is Utah County/Provo/BYU. To be treated as regular person, without any assumptions about me or my character, was amazing and SO refreshing. When I met people, I was Dave Hansen. Not Dave Hansen the Mormon. Not Dave Hansen the RM. Most random people that I met were just people in shops or whatever--but the experience was naturally quite different from my mission, as I wasn't wearing a white shirt, tie, and nametag. Even people who knew that I had been a missionary there didn't really let that affect their perception of me. I was/am who I am and that's all. It was no big deal--I was accepted for whoever I was.
In Provo (or maybe the church in general) I feel so much pressure to live up to what I've done. I'm an RM. I had a successful mission. I was Ward Clerk in my last ward. I go to BYU. Blah, blah blah. When I was on my trip, all those pressures were gone. It was a feeling of liberation.
However, on the drive home from the airport, I felt all those pressures fall back on me as I looked at my surroundings as we drove down the freeway. Don't get me wrong--certain societal pressures are good. I'm not an anarchist or anything. But to go back to my quote at the beginning, I have come to realise that "The only life worth living is one you're passionate about." I've decided, quietly and subtly, that this is what I need to live by. How can I live by others' expectations? I can't be that happy doing that.
As a semi-related side note, I've come the the realisation that I am a HUGE people-pleaser. Often times when I'm trying to make a decision, most of what I think about is who it will affect and how. This is of course important to a point--I'm not out to hurt people and I shouldn't be, either--but I need to make decisions based on what is best for me, and what will make me happy. This won't be easy now, but I think in the long run it will help me to be much happier.
I hope this isn't all coming off as selfish banter. However, I do believe that I need to sort myself out a bit in order to be a better person, and thus to be able to be of any help to others.
That is all, for now.
3 comments:
I like you like you are.
Nice new layout btw.
Great post Dave. I enjoyed it a lot.
Great point David. I learned that on my mission to a degree and continue to learn it. I needed to be a good missionary for God and not to make a good impression on the ward members or other missionaries. I think the most important thing is that you are happy and only worry about pleasing God. Everything else will fall into place.
Post a Comment